I'm the Big Kid Now

So I really really love dance, but I'm not one of those crazy people who start when they're four and dance until their feet shrivel up and fall off. But because of this, I vividly remember the year I started dance. I remember my very first ballet class and how intimidated I was and exactly where I stood at the barre and who I was in class with. 

This year I am going to competitions in pointe, and in order to do that I need to take a ballet class in addition to the one I already take. So here I am five years later in my senior year of high school taking the same level class I took when I was just starting and it's rather surreal. I'm not  offended because I'm in this easy class or anything. Because first off I picked it and also I could really use the technique help so it's great. But it's weird to see from to opposite end of the spectrum compared to where I was five years ago. I can see how much I've grown as a dancer and a person and in work ethic and things like that. And it's also weird thinking about how when I started at The Dance Company all the senior girls looked so grown up and they were all such incredible dancers and I was kind of amazed and intimidated by them and I wanted to be like them. And it just seemed like they were so much older than me.

 But now I look at the girls I'm in class with and I see how they're around the same age I was and I don't feel old enough for them to look up to me or be intimidated by me or see me as such a good dancer. And it's great because I'm taking it with one of my best friends who was also in that ballet class with me my first year and it's so surreal seeing how much we've both grown since then. I feel sort of like I've come full circle and I don't know what to do about it. 

I have the same feeling with my best friend and her little sister. I am the baby of my family, and my only sister is eight years older than me. My best friend of 15 years is the second oldest child in her family, and her only sister is eight years younger than her. So for the past couple years I look at my friend's younger sister and I just see myself. And I see how much I looked up to my sister and my sister's best friend and I see how much she looks up to me and it's WEIRD. 

But as weird of a sensation as this growing up thing is, I want to take note of this and remember how it feels because I am not ever going to be in this exact situation again. And I really want to be as wonderful and nice and nurturing to all these young girls as I can because I know what it's like to look up to the big girls and I don't want them to be disappointed the way I was sometimes. 

Until next time friends,

Lisa