This time last week I was still at theatre camp. Geeze that seems like forever ago. I can't believe I've only been home for a week. I still miss it so badly. I don't think it's ever taken me this long to get over a camp experience. Here's my theory for why.
Okay, I spent an entire week with dramatic theatre kids. We did all kinds of things that aren't necessarily normal. One of my favorite examples was Wednesday night when we went to see Wicked. We went out to eat beforehand at the Spaghetti Warehouse (which I just learned is supposed to be haunted. WHAT.) and we were in the upper room where they put groups. There was one other group up there with us, and they were doing some kind of awards thing. I honestly don't even know what this group was. It looked like a women's group of some sort. But they were applauding for the women who won awards, and so all of us theatre campers just kind of spontaneously burst into applause with them, which made it like 10x louder because there were so many of us. And those people enjoyed it so much. One woman took a picture of us and said she was going to put it in their newsletter. Again, I have no idea what kind of group this was. But hey, we made the newsletter!
Also, randomly throughout the week we all just kind of broke out into song. Twice we had a group walking around singing and we got people we didn't even know to sing with us. In one instance I believe we were singing Bohemian Rhapsody, so we probably can't take all the credit because seriously who doesn't sing along with Bohemian Rhapsody?
But my point is, when I was around those people I felt free to do whatever. I wasn't uncomfortable singing and being wacko, partially because everyone else was too, but also because I didn't feel like anyone was going to judge me. I felt safe around them. On Friday when we were all in our dorm rooms packing up, we all left our doors open and were singing songs from Enchanted. I pointed out that I must have felt comfortable around them, because I don't belt around just anybody. Seriously, if I sing around you it means I really trust you.
After being home for a week, I've noticed that I don't feel that free anymore. Being home, I start to just go back to my normal self. Which I don't necessarily like. I really loved who I was at camp, and how I was okay with making a fool of myself because that's been something I've struggled with for a long time. Normal Me likes to make sure no one sees me being stupid or weird. I don't want people to see me acting dumb because I'm afraid of what they'll think of me.
That's kind of my mission now that I'm home. Well, one of two missions but the other one would take up a whole blog post in itself. (maybe I'll get to that one.) But my mission is to try and keep that free-spiritedness (that's not a word, I'm aware.) that I had last week. To worry less about making a fool of myself in front of my friends, and more about being who I want to be, and who God wants me to be.
Wish me luck.
Lisa
Friday, June 28
Sunday, June 23
Theatre Camp
So this past week I've been running around with a bunch of dramatic teenagers at Cedarville University and it was basically the greatest week of my life. We were all sleep deprived and caffeinated and just generally insane.
So the week started out and we were all awkward and uncomfortable and trying to make conversation. I think that lasted for about two hours before we were all acting like ourselves again. I would tell you what all we did on Monday night, but all the days kind of ran together so I don't remember specifically. I do remember that we were split into our two groups for the first time and got the scripts for our plays.
Over the rest of the week, we worked on the plays as well as doing classes in acting, improv, stage combat, makeup and costuming, so on and so forth. I think the favorite for all of us was probably the stage combat. I mean heck, what's not fun about pretending to punch your friends in the face? We all spent the rest of the week breaking out in random fights around campus.
Oh and then there was the fact that we got to see Wicked in Columbus on Wednesday. Which was basically the coolest thing ever. I personally have seen the show before, but this time was better. First of all I was with 23 other high schoolers who love the show as much as I do, whether or not they'd seen it before. I ended up sitting next to my roommate, and at the beginning of intermission I could just see the amazement on her face. But then also there was our seats. The first time I saw it I was in the second balcony and it was awesome. This time we were in orchestra seating about fifteen rows back and it was the most incredible thing I've ever experienced. Oh and did I mention we got to meet a member of the ensemble? Because that happened. I think. I'm still kind of in shock about that one.
The next morning was hilarious and terrible at the same time. We didn't get home until about 1 in the morning and all of us were exhausted, so when we all met in the lobby of our dorm at 6:50 the next morning (although by the time everyone got there it was more like 7:10) everyone looked like they were asleep with their eyes open, but we were still so excited about the show we saw the night before.
Seriously, though, the week went too fast. I would have stayed for another three weeks if I could have and I'm pretty darn sure everyone else would have too. I'm honestly amazed at how well we all got along. It had to be a God thing that we ended up with the exact people we did, because there wasn't one person there that I didn't get along with. I was talking to my roommate Thursday night and we were saying how funny it was that on the first day we were so awkward and yet by the next day we were all best friends. I even feel close to the people who weren't in my group.
And so now we're all home and we're all complaining about how much we want to go back to camp. It's hard since we all live so far away from each other. I now have friends in Tennessee, Maryland, and Ontario. All of which are way too far away for my liking. Thank God for Facebook.
Anyway, if you need me I'll be over here trying to adjust back to real life.
Lisa
So the week started out and we were all awkward and uncomfortable and trying to make conversation. I think that lasted for about two hours before we were all acting like ourselves again. I would tell you what all we did on Monday night, but all the days kind of ran together so I don't remember specifically. I do remember that we were split into our two groups for the first time and got the scripts for our plays.
Over the rest of the week, we worked on the plays as well as doing classes in acting, improv, stage combat, makeup and costuming, so on and so forth. I think the favorite for all of us was probably the stage combat. I mean heck, what's not fun about pretending to punch your friends in the face? We all spent the rest of the week breaking out in random fights around campus.
Oh and then there was the fact that we got to see Wicked in Columbus on Wednesday. Which was basically the coolest thing ever. I personally have seen the show before, but this time was better. First of all I was with 23 other high schoolers who love the show as much as I do, whether or not they'd seen it before. I ended up sitting next to my roommate, and at the beginning of intermission I could just see the amazement on her face. But then also there was our seats. The first time I saw it I was in the second balcony and it was awesome. This time we were in orchestra seating about fifteen rows back and it was the most incredible thing I've ever experienced. Oh and did I mention we got to meet a member of the ensemble? Because that happened. I think. I'm still kind of in shock about that one.
The next morning was hilarious and terrible at the same time. We didn't get home until about 1 in the morning and all of us were exhausted, so when we all met in the lobby of our dorm at 6:50 the next morning (although by the time everyone got there it was more like 7:10) everyone looked like they were asleep with their eyes open, but we were still so excited about the show we saw the night before.
Seriously, though, the week went too fast. I would have stayed for another three weeks if I could have and I'm pretty darn sure everyone else would have too. I'm honestly amazed at how well we all got along. It had to be a God thing that we ended up with the exact people we did, because there wasn't one person there that I didn't get along with. I was talking to my roommate Thursday night and we were saying how funny it was that on the first day we were so awkward and yet by the next day we were all best friends. I even feel close to the people who weren't in my group.
And so now we're all home and we're all complaining about how much we want to go back to camp. It's hard since we all live so far away from each other. I now have friends in Tennessee, Maryland, and Ontario. All of which are way too far away for my liking. Thank God for Facebook.
Anyway, if you need me I'll be over here trying to adjust back to real life.
Lisa
Sunday, June 2
Writer's Block
So lately I've felt like I have this huge brick wall over the creative part of my brain. I keep trying to write, because I want to write, and it keeps ending very poorly. Sometimes I'll have an inkling of an idea and I'll open my journal to write it and nothing comes out and I end up writing the date, sitting there for five minutes, then crossing it off and going to do something else. It's like all my ideas are cowering behind the brick wall, and if one brave one tries to escape, it runs at full force and immediately smacks into the brick wall.
And I don't like this. I used to be able to write full scenes that took up like eight pages in my journal in one sitting, and now I can barely finish three pages and therefore end up stopping in the middle of a scene which I hate. And all my scenes are dull, and repetative, and just NOT FUN AT ALL ASDLFA;FOHFVNDSALKJ.
Whew. Okay sorry. So yeah. Well the point of this is, I've been sitting on a book idea since... I guess last June. I've been sitting on a book idea for an entire year and planned out characters and a bit of plot and (which characters I'm going to kill lol oops) and stuff like that. But I haven't done anything with it because I still don't have the entire plot mapped out and I don't know what to do in the boring in between bits and then I realized that THAT'S REALLY STUPID WHY ARE YOU STUPID LISA.
Because seriously, that's what a rough draft is for. I think the problem is I've tried many times(okay like twice) to write a whole book and both times I've stopped because it isn't good or I lose steam or I get busy with life or I just don't want to do it anymore. And I so desperately don't want to do that with this one because it's good and I really like it and I think other people will like it. I mean all my beta readers (aka best friends)have liked it so far, but you know they're my best friends so they're not going to say they hate it. Except Allye. She would tell me.
But yeah. So I've decided that the only way to break through the Brick Wall of Stupid is to just keep writing and making those little ideas slam into the wall until it finally breaks. So far I've written... well... two pages of this book. In two days. But you know what, I'm making progress.
So here's to perseverance. Or pigheadedness or whatever the heck you want to call it. Hopefully soon I'll have more exciting things to share.
Until next time
Stay classy.
Lisa
And I don't like this. I used to be able to write full scenes that took up like eight pages in my journal in one sitting, and now I can barely finish three pages and therefore end up stopping in the middle of a scene which I hate. And all my scenes are dull, and repetative, and just NOT FUN AT ALL ASDLFA;FOHFVNDSALKJ.
Whew. Okay sorry. So yeah. Well the point of this is, I've been sitting on a book idea since... I guess last June. I've been sitting on a book idea for an entire year and planned out characters and a bit of plot and (which characters I'm going to kill lol oops) and stuff like that. But I haven't done anything with it because I still don't have the entire plot mapped out and I don't know what to do in the boring in between bits and then I realized that THAT'S REALLY STUPID WHY ARE YOU STUPID LISA.
Because seriously, that's what a rough draft is for. I think the problem is I've tried many times(okay like twice) to write a whole book and both times I've stopped because it isn't good or I lose steam or I get busy with life or I just don't want to do it anymore. And I so desperately don't want to do that with this one because it's good and I really like it and I think other people will like it. I mean all my beta readers (aka best friends)have liked it so far, but you know they're my best friends so they're not going to say they hate it. Except Allye. She would tell me.
But yeah. So I've decided that the only way to break through the Brick Wall of Stupid is to just keep writing and making those little ideas slam into the wall until it finally breaks. So far I've written... well... two pages of this book. In two days. But you know what, I'm making progress.
So here's to perseverance. Or pigheadedness or whatever the heck you want to call it. Hopefully soon I'll have more exciting things to share.
Until next time
Stay classy.
Lisa
Wednesday, May 8
Stella
I don't know why, but recently my brain has just been like "WRITE A POEM ABOUT EVERYTHIIINGGGGGG" so here is a poem I wrote for my friend who just had a baby.
Today.
One day.
One day of life.
One day of air rushing through her lungs.
One day of a tiny heart pumping
Of little hands grasping
Of little feet kicking.
One day of sleeping.
One day of seeing her parents.
One, small, miniscule day of life.
Tomorrow.
One more day.
And more after that.
Days of laughter and exploration.
Days of sadness and disappointment.
Days where everything seems to go her way.
Days where the whole world seems stacked against her.
Days to learn
And grow
And laugh
And love
And hope
And dream.
Days for her parents to watch her grow up into a beautiful young woman.
Today is a big day.
Today is the start.
Tomorrow begins the journey.
Welcome to the journey, Stella.
Today.
One day.
One day of life.
One day of air rushing through her lungs.
One day of a tiny heart pumping
Of little hands grasping
Of little feet kicking.
One day of sleeping.
One day of seeing her parents.
One, small, miniscule day of life.
Tomorrow.
One more day.
And more after that.
Days of laughter and exploration.
Days of sadness and disappointment.
Days where everything seems to go her way.
Days where the whole world seems stacked against her.
Days to learn
And grow
And laugh
And love
And hope
And dream.
Days for her parents to watch her grow up into a beautiful young woman.
Today is a big day.
Today is the start.
Tomorrow begins the journey.
Welcome to the journey, Stella.
Tuesday, May 7
Poem for a Friend
Hi.
This might be kind of weird
But I have to say it.
I miss you.
We hardly speak anymore.
When did we separate so far?
Or maybe I should be asking
When did we become so close?
Our interests are nothing alike
But we bonded almost instantly.
And we sat in Spanish and drank orange juice and coffee
Out of your tiny kiddy cup.
We used to share food.
We had that accidentally matching pair of jeans.
We were next to inseparable.
But our interests have never been the same.
You love playing sports,
But they make me want to stab myself in the eye with a toothpick.
You know nothing about dance
But you watched your sister and me anyway
Just like I played at learning lacrosse for you.
When did that go away?
It was when I left, wasn't it?
I moved on, but you didn't.
And you made new friends.
And so did I.
And sometimes I wonder if you miss me like I miss you.
And I wonder if the Fine Freshman ever cross your mind.
And I wish that things could have ended differently.
But I guess
If it has to be like this
I want you to be as happy as you are.
I just wish I was a part of it.
This might be kind of weird
But I have to say it.
I miss you.
We hardly speak anymore.
When did we separate so far?
Or maybe I should be asking
When did we become so close?
Our interests are nothing alike
But we bonded almost instantly.
And we sat in Spanish and drank orange juice and coffee
Out of your tiny kiddy cup.
We used to share food.
We had that accidentally matching pair of jeans.
We were next to inseparable.
But our interests have never been the same.
You love playing sports,
But they make me want to stab myself in the eye with a toothpick.
You know nothing about dance
But you watched your sister and me anyway
Just like I played at learning lacrosse for you.
When did that go away?
It was when I left, wasn't it?
I moved on, but you didn't.
And you made new friends.
And so did I.
And sometimes I wonder if you miss me like I miss you.
And I wonder if the Fine Freshman ever cross your mind.
And I wish that things could have ended differently.
But I guess
If it has to be like this
I want you to be as happy as you are.
I just wish I was a part of it.
Saturday, May 4
Drafts
I have been so bad about posting lately, I know. It's not that I haven't had things to say. The problem is either I have no time to say it, or I start to say it and get scared about how it sounds and I never publish it. I have about five drafts sitting in my posts list that I just can't finish.
But really, the only time I ever think of something interesting to say, I'm in the middle of something and by the time I can blog about it, I don't remember. Either that, or I'll start writing and become disinterested after a while. Or I feel like the post might be too risky. (example: one of my unpublished drafts is "Politics")
I think part of the problem is lately I've been questioning just about everything I think and say. It's starting to dawn on me that not everyone has the same opinion as me. And while that's fine and dandy, I'm a little bit scared that people might not like my opinions, or by extension, might not like me because of my opinions.
Another thing is, I'm tired of just blogging whatever I'm thinking about at the time. I want to have something I'm doing that I can blog about. But the only exciting things I do are hang out with my friends, and no one cares to listen to me blog about that.
I haven't really been doing much creative writing either, aside from writing for school. I've had a couple ideas, but none of them have gone anywhere. Thankfully, over the summer I will most probably be taking a creative writing class from my favorite teacher in the world, so that might help get the juices flowing a bit more. I'll also be going to a theater camp for a week, and if that doesn't bring my creativity out of hiding I don't know what wil
Well, I guess I should go study for all the finals I have coming up next week. (Caaaaaaaaaan you feel the procrastination toniiiiiiiiiiight. It is wheeeeeere weeeee aaarrreeeeee.Well, okay, it's where I am) Hopefully after my play and dance recital and all that are over I'll have something exciting to talk about!
May your life be more writing-condusive than mine,
Lisa
But really, the only time I ever think of something interesting to say, I'm in the middle of something and by the time I can blog about it, I don't remember. Either that, or I'll start writing and become disinterested after a while. Or I feel like the post might be too risky. (example: one of my unpublished drafts is "Politics")
I think part of the problem is lately I've been questioning just about everything I think and say. It's starting to dawn on me that not everyone has the same opinion as me. And while that's fine and dandy, I'm a little bit scared that people might not like my opinions, or by extension, might not like me because of my opinions.
Another thing is, I'm tired of just blogging whatever I'm thinking about at the time. I want to have something I'm doing that I can blog about. But the only exciting things I do are hang out with my friends, and no one cares to listen to me blog about that.
I haven't really been doing much creative writing either, aside from writing for school. I've had a couple ideas, but none of them have gone anywhere. Thankfully, over the summer I will most probably be taking a creative writing class from my favorite teacher in the world, so that might help get the juices flowing a bit more. I'll also be going to a theater camp for a week, and if that doesn't bring my creativity out of hiding I don't know what wil
Well, I guess I should go study for all the finals I have coming up next week. (Caaaaaaaaaan you feel the procrastination toniiiiiiiiiiight. It is wheeeeeere weeeee aaarrreeeeee.Well, okay, it's where I am) Hopefully after my play and dance recital and all that are over I'll have something exciting to talk about!
May your life be more writing-condusive than mine,
Lisa
Thursday, January 3
Early Morning Hours
So you know how when you stay up late, nothing really seems weird? You feel completely normal, though maybe a bit tired, but things just don't seem as ridiculous as they would during the daytime. Like if you're texting someone, and you say something that's probably weird, but it doesn't feel weird because it's 2 o'clock in the morning. Then the next morning you wake up and think, "Did I actually say that? Good grief."
Not that I've ever done that. Nope. Not me.
Anyway, sometimes I feel like that's how life is. Sometimes the present is 2 in the morning, and the future is tomorrow morning when you remember what you said. Or maybe life is 2 in the morning, and the after life is tomorrow morning. Or maybe there's some of the first in the second. METAPHOR INCEPTION
It kinda makes me think of 1 Corinthians 13:12 "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." (NIV)
When we make decisions, we for the most part believe that we know the whole story. We feel our reasoning is completely rational. And then sometimes tomorrow morning comes, and we think "Well that was stupid." Sometimes I have this mental picture of me getting to heaven, looking back on my life and thinking "What the heck was I doing?"
I guess that's why we're taught to listen to God instead of ourselves. Because God's sense of time is not like our sense of time, so when it's 2 in the morning for us and we're delirious and stupid, it is the middle of the afternoon for God and his mind is perfectly clear. Actually, I think it's always the middle of the afternoon for God.
Lisa
Not that I've ever done that. Nope. Not me.
Anyway, sometimes I feel like that's how life is. Sometimes the present is 2 in the morning, and the future is tomorrow morning when you remember what you said. Or maybe life is 2 in the morning, and the after life is tomorrow morning. Or maybe there's some of the first in the second. METAPHOR INCEPTION
It kinda makes me think of 1 Corinthians 13:12 "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." (NIV)
When we make decisions, we for the most part believe that we know the whole story. We feel our reasoning is completely rational. And then sometimes tomorrow morning comes, and we think "Well that was stupid." Sometimes I have this mental picture of me getting to heaven, looking back on my life and thinking "What the heck was I doing?"
I guess that's why we're taught to listen to God instead of ourselves. Because God's sense of time is not like our sense of time, so when it's 2 in the morning for us and we're delirious and stupid, it is the middle of the afternoon for God and his mind is perfectly clear. Actually, I think it's always the middle of the afternoon for God.
Lisa
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