So yesterday was the very first day of my senior year and today I sent in my first college application which scares me a little bit. I don't feel old enough for this at all. I feel like all my life, or at least as long as I've been in school, I've been looking forward to this point of my life. Graduating high school, going to college. And now that it's almost here, I'm having a hard time believing it. It's hard for me to imagine what life outside of school is like. Obviously I still have a ways to go before I find out because college involves quite a bit of school work, so I'm told. But it's getting closer and closer and I still can't imagine what it's like.
This whole growing up thing leads me to part two, which is the learning stuff. And not like school stuff.
There's this woman who I've seen a couple times at work and for not really good reasons, I've just judged her fairly harshly, and almost involuntarily. She's probably in her 40's or 50's, but she looks older than that. She is fairly tan with lots of freckles and she's thin to an extreme. Her hair is almost completely gray and she has a slightly gravely voice. From the first time I saw her I thought she seemed like the type of person who has been smoking for way too long, and I was pleasant when I served her, but I never made an effort to talk to her.
Today this woman came in with her daughter. At first I didn't notice anything unusual about her. I vaguely noticed that she was pretty before going about my normal work. On walking past again, I noticed that she had a lazy eye, which didn't bother me all that much. While my coworker served them, I cut up a doughnut for samples and listened to them talk. The girl started telling he mom how she couldn't read out menu board, but she could see the lit up sign above it. It was not long after that I saw they had a service dog with them, and I realized that this girl must be legally blind.
It was after this realization that I started to pay more attention to her mom. When she talked to her daughter, I could see the worry and the stress she felt and the love she had for her daughter. The girl must have been about my age, and I wondered how long her mom had watched her lose her sight, or if she hadn't had it well from the beginning. I thought about how hard that must have been for her mom to watch. And I suddenly felt horribly sorry for all the labels I had put on her in the two short times I'd seen her before.
I seem to be constantly realizing recently that everyone has a life that's just as intricate and hard and personal as mine is. And yet every time it comes as a shock to me. You'd think I would get the point by now. And further than that, I realized that God loves me so much. People have told me that since I was born. But I suddenly remembered that God loves that woman the exact same ridiculous amount that everyone has always said he loves me. And to think that it's the same for every single person out of the billions of people on this planet just blows my mind.
So that's what I've been thinking about lately. I hope something bothers you this week as much as my selfishness bothers me. Because when something about yourself bothers you, that's when you really start to change, I think.
Off to beddy-bye land now so I can get up for school again tomorrow.
Love you beautiful humans!
Lisa
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