"They Took My Wisdom"

Well actually, they took 4 of the most useless teeth created. But a high school friend of my brother's said they took his wisdom (ironically on the same day they took mine) and it sounded way more awesome.

So yesterday I got up and my dad took me to the oral surgeon. Cue me being terrified out of my skull. I mean sure, everybody says it's not that bad but you never forget that one horror story you know you've heard. Plus, I had to watch both my siblings go through it. So, you know, a nurse took me back into this small room where she asked me all kinds of awkward questions like if I had HIV or was pregnant or did drugs or alcohol. And then after learning that I am blissfully normal, she left. Then the surgeon came in and told me all sorts of things that could go wrong, and then assured me that they almost never do.Almost.

So anyway, they then escorted me from innocent little exam room to oh-look-surgical-table-and-sharp-tools. This is where my memory starts getting a little fuzzy. They made me take off my glasses and my jacket and lie down on the table of doom. One woman sat behind me, which she said was so she could keep my mouth open while they removed my teeth.

Okay, so I feel like I was more entertained by all the stuff I was hooked up to than I should have been, although that might have been the laughing gas. But seriously, I had a heart monitor and a finger cuff and an IV. I felt like I was in a TV show or something. I almost wish I had been more coherent for it. And the laughing gas just made me feel like Tris on Peace Serum which made it 20x more awesome. The lady put the little gas thing over my nose and told me to breathe normally through my nose, and if my hands started to tingle that meant it was working.

She and the surgeon and another nurse started asking me about school and college and stuff, and I was kinda trying my hardest not to giggle at everything and make my voice sound normal. I knew it was the laughing gas doing stuff to me, but there wasn't really that much I could do about it. I vaguely felt them put the IV in my arm and tape it there, but it really didn't have much of an effect on me. I'm not sure what it was that put me to sleep but the last thing I remember was them talking about the news reporters on news channels. Don't even ask me how the conversation got there.

The next thing I only kind of remember is sitting up on a bed thingy on the other side of the room. I think I took a picture of myself with my iPod to see if I looked weird or not. And then I think I maybe remember having a nurse help me walk down a hallway and I couldn't really stand up straight, let alone walk. It was all a very weird experience.

And then somehow I ended up on the couch at home. My bottom lip felt like it was the size of a blimp and I couldn't really talk very well even after I took the gauze out of my mouth. Somehow I had gotten my glasses and my jacket back, although I have no recollection of that whatsoever. I was also informed by my dad that a nurse had helped me out to the car which I don't remember at ALL, or the drive home for that matter.

My mouth has gone through stages of discomfort. First it was the swollen bottom lip, and then the swelling started to go down, but my bottom lip felt absolutely freezing for whatever reason and it was driving me nuts and wouldn't go away. So finally that went away and I looked relatively normal. Until this morning, that is. Now my cheeks have swollen significantly and are starting to bruise a little bit. It's like, you know those apps for iPhones and Androids and stuff where you can take a picture of someone and make them look fat? That's kinda what it's like. It's really weird.

Well anyway, that's all I have for now. I'll blog again when I can actually do something other than sit on the couch and watch movies.

So long internet people!
Lisa