Fear

Alright, I hate to lay this on you guys, but my youth leader asked us to write about our fear and I thought this would be a good outlet. Especially since I have no followers. Nice and safe right? Ha! Right. Except for the fact that my own personal fear will be displayed on the internet for all eternity.(Muahahahahaha.) But how bad can it be, right?
Alright. Here we go.
For the past... while I've felt like I'm moderately good at a wide variety of things, but not really good at one specific thing that I'm like, "I want to do this for the rest of my life and I think I could do it." Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of things I'd love to do. I would love to dance or sing or act or write for a living. But lets face it, none of these things are very practical. And dance has a HORRIBLE shelf life, especially ballet. Also, I'm terrified that I'm not good enough to do any of these things professionally and that I'll be shot down the second I try and end up working at a grocery store the rest of my life. Personally, I don't want this.
Really, I have plenty of people telling me how talented I am, and there's always those people who tell you that you can do anything you set your mind to. But, a) nobody wants to insult anybody these days, so how do I know that people are always telling the truth about my talent? and b)sometimes, no matter how much you want something, you don't get it. Have you seen some people on American Idol? Some of those people think they're God's gift to the world. Others of us know that they are sadly mistaken.
In addition to all of this, I have always wanted to be a person that stands out and makes a statement and can get a point across. And yet, every day-even when I'm just trying to find something to wear for the day- I am faced with the cold hard reality that I am not one of those people. Mostly because I'm so deathly afraid that people won't like me, which, frankly, is something I SERIOUSLY need to get over. But really, I don't do much without asking myself what people will think of me.
Alright, now I'm just getting off topic. But really, that's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that if I make a statement and be different and support something I believe in that people will hate me. And I'm afraid that I'm just not good enough at anything to go into it professionally.
Whew. Okay. So, this is me making a statement now.